“So when does the change happen?” – A question I get asked a lot. And its often asked in the same manner as someone would ask “When will we be eating dinner?” It seems many people assume that with coaching there is an immediate change, in the same way there is an instant change from being hungry to being full after meal time.
The results of coaching are not instant and it does take a fair bit of time before the desired results can be seen.
When you start off with the coaching process, first you are invited to explore alternative options and views, which you probably wouldn’t have looked at or even considered before. Deep down inside however, there may still be a desire to stick with the status quo. You may logically know that the change is best, but you are still hesitant to committing to the new way. Rightly so, new is unknown, untrialled and potentially risky. Old habits do definitely die hard and it takes courage to move outside of your comfort zone and make the choice to alter your current situation for the better.
So when does the change happen? Change starts to happen when you stop just saying you are going to change, and you actually do it. When you stop observing the alternatives from a safe distance. When you choose to include those alternative views and habits into your life. When the “new way of doing things” becomes the norm. When you stop looking at the change with fear.
So how do you get to this stage of being comfortable with your change decision and actually doing it?
This is a tricky question and is different for every person. Some arrive at change faster than others. The following questions may assist or prompt you to act.
- What is your biggest motivator for this change? Is your motivator intrinsic or extrinsic?
- If you didn’t make the change and everything remained as is, how would it affect your life?
- How often do you put off thinking about the possibility of change?
- Have you set yourself a deadline?
- Who is supporting you with your decision?
- What resources do you have to assist you in facilitating this change?
And lastly, what does your gut tell you?
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