22 Jul

When does change happen?

“So when does the change happen?” – A question I get asked a lot. And its often asked in the same manner as someone would ask “When will we be eating dinner?” It seems many people assume that with coaching there is an immediate change, in the same way there is an instant change from being hungry to being full after meal time.

The results of coaching are not instant and it does take a fair bit of time before the desired results can be seen.

When you start off with the coaching process, first you are invited to explore  alternative options and views, which you probably wouldn’t have looked at or even considered before. Deep down inside however, there may still be a desire to stick with the status quo. You may logically know that the change is best, but you are still hesitant to committing to the new way. Rightly so, new is unknown, untrialled and potentially risky. Old habits do definitely die hard and it takes courage to move outside of your comfort zone and make the choice to alter your current situation for the better.

So when does the change happen? Change starts to happen when you stop just saying you are going to change, and you actually do it. When you stop observing the alternatives from a safe distance. When you choose to include those alternative views and habits into your life. When the “new way of doing things” becomes the norm. When you stop looking at the change with fear.

So how do you get to this stage of being comfortable with your change decision and actually doing it?

This is a tricky question and is different for every person. Some arrive at change faster than  others. The following questions may assist or prompt you to act.

  1. What is your biggest motivator for this change? Is your motivator intrinsic or extrinsic?
  2. If you didn’t make the change and everything remained as is, how would it affect your life?
  3. How often do you put off thinking about the possibility of change?
  4. Have you set yourself a deadline?
  5. Who is supporting you with your decision?
  6. What resources do you have to assist you in facilitating this change?

And lastly, what does your gut tell you?

Need some assistance? Contact me. nicole@tikumu.co.nz for professional business coaching.

09 Jul

Okay, I’m ready to be motivated!

Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no big secret to being motivated. There is no magical formula, expensive pill or exotic herbs you can take. Yes, you might attend a motivational talk or read a motivational book or actually even take exotic herbs, but these are just tools you use along the way. These are not your core motivators, they don’t maintain your motivation, they simple assist you in your journey.

To maintain your motivational levels you firstly need to understand and accept that no body or thing can motivate you except for yourself.

Newsflash! The main motivator in your life is you.

Waiting around for other people to motivate you is just doing an injustice to yourself. The more you depend on others, the more power you surrender to them and the less control you have over your life. Which inevitably affects your self-esteem and confidence levels.

The research says that intrinsic motivation is motivation that stems from genuine interest and ambition, and not from external motivators such as status and power. It’s about engaging in specific behaviours because you want to, and these behaviours bring you happiness and personal reward. You do these activities because you want to do them, not because you have been told to or seek reward from someone else.

So how can you increase your intrinsic motivators?

Instead of focusing your energy on other people and how demotivated you are, start focusing on what you are genuinely interested in. Be careful not to randomly select activities or work which you think might interest you, or select something because someone else enjoys it. Really spend some time reflecting on what activities inspire and drive you. Once you have discovered these genuine interests, you can stop relying on others to motivate you, and channel and develop those interests into intrinsic motivators. These is where you take the power back. This is where you start controlling your life.

To  spark you in your discovery of what your internal motivators are, try asking yourself these questions:

  1.  What energises you?
  2. When do you feel most alive?
  3. What are your three greatest accomplishments? What made these accomplishments stand out for you?
  4. What specifically is it about your work that lifts your spirit?
  5. When are you at your best? When do you believe you are adding value to yourself?

Take your time to answer these questions. It may take a few days to really reflect on them and to feel comfortable with your answers. Once you have come to an answer, you can start your journey.

You see, the thing is that it isn’t about what other people think or do, it’s just about what makes you happy.