20 Jul

5 steps to dealing with limiting beliefs

Put your hand up if you’ve ever doubted your abilities, considered yourself a fraud or an imposter? Have you ever thought you were operating on borrowed time waiting for someone to catch you out, and expose you for the fake you believe you are? These thoughts are what we calling self-limiting beliefs.  Welcome to the club, everybody experiences limiting beliefs at different stages and ages in their lives and careers, it is normal.

The trick here is learning how to keep the nasty little voices in your head at bay and to learn how to manage and control them.

  1. Don’t ignore them

    Trying to ignore these thoughts and push them under the carpet might hold them back for a short period, but they are still under the carpet. Ignoring your limiting beliefs  doesn’t miraculously get rid of the beliefs, it just delays the inevitable, causes a lot of undue stress and creates a tripping hazard in your life. So when you least expect it, you could stumble over the limiting  belief hump which lies buried under the carpet.

  2. Acknowledge and name them

    So often we turn away from these limiting beliefs because we see them as weaknesses and perhaps character flaws. Because we find it painful to deal with them and shamefully believe that these little voices are confirming a truth. The more we turn away from these negative beliefs or ignore them they tend to grow.  They become larger, more hurtful and more controlling. So instead of ignoring them, acknowledge them. Face them head on. Acknowledge their existence and name them. By doing this you are able to start the journey of learning how to manage and control them on your own terms.

  3. Get curious

    Start by taking some time out of your schedule and get really curious about why these limiting beliefs seem to appear in your life. Where do these thoughts originate from? What experience is supporting these beliefs? What triggers these feelings and beliefs? How am I benefiting from holding onto these thoughts? Was there a time were I didn’t have these beliefs and why is there a change?

    Dig deep and question everything. Pull your thoughts apart. Challenge!

  4. Make a plan

    Once you’ve dissected the belief and examined every side of it, warts and all, come up with a plan for how you will deal with it. Depending on what you discover, you may need to work on positive affirmations, learn a new skill, seek professional guidance or work on changing a behaviour, which is not serving you. There are many ways, but it is essential that you find the alternative. This will allow you to take charge. To take control.

  5. Let it go

    Once you’ve started implementing your plan, your habits will start to change for the better. There is no place to store your old limiting beliefs, they just get in the way. Make the decision and learn to let them go.

I am aware that this is easier said than done. It’s damn hard work to wrestle your negative thoughts into submission and sometimes we don’t always get it right. But, ask yourself this. “If you don’t change your limiting beliefs, what will happen?” If you are not satisfied with your answer then go back to point 1 of this article and start taking control of your limiting beliefs.

Need some help with taking charge of your limiting beliefs? Need a coach? Contact Nicole @ nicole@tikumu.co.nz

16 Mar

Taking control of your internal saboteur

Sometimes when we embark on something new in our lives, such as a new career, moving cities or working towards a promotion, a little voice appears inside our heads, which can be extremely chatty and creatively cruel at times.

And unfortunately, to our own detriment, we sometimes listen to this voice and succumb to the negative feelings it conjures up. This voice is our internal saboteur and it can be extremely debilitating. Preventing us from changing our current situations. Preventing us from being something better. Boldly telling us that we are no good, not clever enough or completely undeserving of happiness and success.

How can we remove this little voice and its crippling agenda ? How can we move past the feelings of unknown and doubt it creates?

Well, the most powerful tool is to simply face your internal saboteur head on. By not cowering and hiding away when it starts its negative speak. First off, give this little voice a name. Become aware of its presences when it gets chatty and start recognising those times when it starts to dominate your thoughts. For example, it could appear when you  have to speak in front of a large group of people, and tells you that you are a poor public speaker. Or it appears when you are in a conflict situation and tells you that you are incompetent, useless at confrontation and less important than the other party.

Once you have labeled your internal saboteur and recognised its favourite topics you can start dealing with it. These topics are what you can call limiting beliefs. I think it, so therefore I am it. The more you entertain those limiting beliefs the stronger your saboteur becomes.

An easy exercise that you can do is to firstly challenge the limiting belief. Start to actively question where the limiting belief came from? Is this belief in fact true? Where is the proof?

Then begin to change the negative thought into a positive one. Honestly recognise your weakness and come up with an action plan to improve it. This is were you start taking the control back. At this moment the saboteur has had the wind blown out of them.

So you might be a poor public speaker. So what can you do to improve it? Take charge of your saboteur and turn the situation into something productive. You might need to attend a public speaking class, or ensure that you try to speak only to smaller groups. The options are endless. Once you stop letting the little voice take over, you are able to see things clearly and you can proactively change your situation.

If your saboteur is preventing you from achieving in your life, don’t you think its about time to take control?

Name it, question it, recognise it, create an action plan, and move on!