18 Jun

Change?

They say that human beings are creatures of habit.  Whether we are content or dissatisfied with our current situation, we generally stick with the status quo. It takes a huge amount of effort, dedication and energy to move through a change process. Hence the reason for joining support groups or working with coaches.

What I find quite interesting is that we like to talk about change. We like to dream about what could be. We actually get extremely motivated and excited about what the change could bring to our lives. All this talk however is done from the comfort of our “comfort zone arm chair” and sadly the majority of the time we revert back to what we know. We go to where we are safe. Even if it is literally causing us extreme pain and suffering. The saying “Better the devil you know” comes to mind.

Logically, we all know deep down inside that the best way to deal with change is to embrace it. Work with it, instead of against it. However getting to that point of welcoming change into your life is easier said than done, and for most of us it takes time to open ourselves up to the reality of change.

So when do we arrive at “that point” when we are ready to change? Well, one critical piece of the puzzle, that I believe  is so often missed out on is the grieving process. Whatever the change, whether we are moving away from good or bad,  we need to give ourselves time to grieve. With change comes loss. How do we deal with that loss properly? Do we open ourselves up and acknowledge why we are giving something up ? Do we find peace in the fact that we will change?

So the final question here is, are we really anxious about the changes ahead or are we avoiding the “stuff” we have to deal with before moving on? The feelings, emotions and life which we have so conveniently been swept under the carpet and forgotten about.

Whether you welcome or shun it, change is one of the very few constants in our lives. How we manage it, defines us. How do you want to be defined?

Nicole Coyne

Nicole is a certified professional coach as well as a certified trainer, advanced assessor and coach mentor. Based in Auckland, she provides a range of coaching options, from individual business owner and management coaching, group and team coaching workshops to personal coaching. Her coaching practice is aligned to the ICF ethos and ethics. Need to hire a professional coach? Contact Nicole nicole@tikumu.co.nz 
Nicole Coyne

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